If

If I could rest on your lap
And feel your arms wrap
Around me,
Every minute of each day...
I would know what rapture was.

Dear, if I could tie my shoe
To a lace or two
Of yours,
Those knots would be unyielding
I would never leave your side.

My love, if I could have you hold me,
Bind your limbs around me
Snug and secure,
Our bond would be cemented
I would want nothing more.

If I could hear your voice say
You love me now and always
continually,
be a broken record,
I would always be assured

That you are mine
And always,
And forever more.

emancipation

Done all I can to reach you,
short of pounding my head against your door.

But somehow, you’ve managed to ignore
the sound of my voice in your brain.

I thought I was being loud enough.
I thought for sure

that if I just kept pouring
my heart out
I could make you hear me.

All I did was lose my voice.

It was my choice
to keep shouting
though, so
don’t feel bad for me.

I think your ears are sealed
but pish posh,
I'm nearly sure your heart
is the issue.

It has taken me my lifetime
to give up on you.
I’ve done all I can do.

I can’t make you love me.
I can’t force you to be a man.

Be free from me.
I release you.
So be it.

you make me better

I’m taking back my rightful right
as a person on this Earth.
You cannot bind me from my choice;
you will not steal my worth.

I’m stripping down to flesh and bone,
revealing my raw self.
You cannot make me hide what is mine;
you cannot steal my Self---

Self- worth, love, expression. Self- honor;
these are mine to represent.
Self- acceptance, respect, grace. Free Will;
these are all mine to defend.

I’m standing up for what I know
to be true in my own heart.
You cannot break my spirit now;
you will not pick me apart.

Beat me, push me, knock me down; I will withstand.
Slap me, punch me, shoot me dead; I will rise again
from my heartbreak, from your wretchedness.
Freedom from the shackles
you have pinned against me,
I can break through chains.

I have found a way to free my Self;
I’m taking back control.
You may think you’ve got the best of me,
but I still have my soul.

Do you?

pillow

a fleeting moment.

a chronic routine.

a precious keepsake.  

mine and yours alone.

we laze atop our deepest

dreams,

of which we will

soon fulfill.

heavy heads, powerlessly sunken,

and thankful for it.

thankful-

for perfect dimples

on worn in pillows,

impossible to refuse-

a truly magnetic lure.

a television, not worth mentioning,

muffled by the affection

of body parts and

sweet whispers.

a comforter, from the knees and down,

draped aimlessly

over tangled feet and

knotted legs-

we’re a mutant for tonight.

we’re mutants.

The Ghost of Guilt

The Ghost of Guilt,
It follows you ‘round
Impelling your shoulders in.
It haunts your core,
And floods your worth,
Allowing your demons to win.

Dressed in white robes
With billowing frills,
It appears to be a friend.
But it traps your trust,
And shackles your heart
Until you lose your way again.

Before you know it
Your life is not yours,
It belongs to a cloak-ed crook.
A swindler and impostor
Who fooled you to believe
It was all for your own good.

But behind the mask
Of trust and aid
Is a nasty, deceptive creature.
It has taken away
Your ability to see YOU
For all your charming features.

Instead you see you
As evil and unworthy,
As you focus on the grim.
The Ghost of Guilt
Has made you absorb
A persona that glorifies him.

You’re so far gone
You can’t see straight
And nothing is alright.
You’re so far gone
You can’t see Hope-
The Spirit of the Light.

She calls for you
She yells your name
On the knees of your heart.
“You simply have to
Choose to move on-
Create a brand new start.
Unleash this beast,
YOU have control,
The reigns are in your hands.
Cast off this burden
And set it free.
Give yourself a chance.”

And so I did,
I released the monster
That had been taunting me completely.
It was just as simple
As making a choice
To not let this devil beat me.