(appropriately: Anonymous)

Do Not Quit

When things go wrong as they sometimes will;
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill;
When the funds are low, and the debts are high
And you want to smile, but have to sigh;
When care is pressing you down a bit -
Rest if you must, but do not quit.

Success is failure turned inside out;
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt;
And you can never tell how close you are
It may be near when it seems so far;
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit -
It's when things go wrong that you must not quit.

#justkeepswimming
#ifatfirstyoudontsucceed
#trytryagain

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On my mind this Monday

My hub is on my mind today, like most days.  I hope to get a second to tell him how much he means to me.  I try to tell him everyday, in one way or another.  A text, a kiss, a hug... an actual "thank you."  I feel a date night brewing.  Date nights are SO important for any couple, but especially a mom/dad couple.  Nights away from the babe are critical in order to plug some romance, some spontaneity back into the connection.  What if, just for tonight, we weren't co-parents? We were co-people? You be a man. I'll be a woman. That's all.

My boy is ALWAYS on my mind, but especially recently.  The poor thing is going through a awful phase right now... I think they call it the 'terrible two's.'  There has been no hitting or kicking.  No throwing or spitting.  No screaming or tantrums.  None of the things {I thought} were classified under the term 'terrible two's.'  Instead, Bubba is an emotional wreck.  He has always been a VERY sensitive child (much like I was and am ;)), but lately, all he wants to/can do is cry.  And it has me totally lost/heartbroken, frustrated/drained.  I suppose this is a natural thing for both child and parent.  It's a test of the relationship, and it will only increase understanding and togetherness (at least that is my hope).  But in the midst of it, I'm feeling overwhelmed.  I turned to my wonderful mom, Karen, for support, and she simply told me: "Just love him."

Yeah.... she's pretty great!

School!  I came into work today to find out that I Aced this semester to the tune of a 3.85 GPA.  Good enough (I think) to keep me on the Dean's List.  And so, yeah, this makes me happy.  Being an almost 30 something with a husband and kid at home (I would say family, but husband and kid sounds a little more daunting, doesn't it?!), it has not been easy to keep up with my degree.  But I am working off of sheer will-power here, people.  Pure gusto.  Earning my degree falls in line right below my family on my list of priorities.  Sorry work, you didn't make the cut... even though I need you.  Okay, so I'll give work #3 on my list of importance/daily attention...

Finally, and last but NOT least, my Aunt Rosie, who is my Great Aunt (both generationally and complimentary) is heavy on my mind and in my heart. She has been in a nursing home for 5-or-so-years now, and had a stroke last week.  This was not her first stroke, but thankfully, it will be her last.  Her closest family members (my Great Uncle Lloyd and her sons, Larry and Irvin) decided to take her off meds, oxygen, and food, and simply let her pass.  She made it clear that this is what she wanted.  She has said for years now that she was "ready to go," but her body just wouldn't give up on her.  I was able to see her yesterday.  I was able to tell her how much I love her, how much she has always meant and will always mean to me, and I was able to kiss her goodbye.  I'm so thankful for that opportunity.  And I am begging the powers-that-be to take her peacefully, gently and soon.

It is so important to stay close to those special people in your life.  To tell those whom bring you joy just that; that they make you happy.  It is important to live in love rather than try to impose your love upon others.  Let the way in which you carry yourself speak louder than words ever could.  And lastly, look in the mirror and get to know yourself.  It begins and ends with you....

Tunnel Vision

The light at the end of the tunnel is alive and breathing.
It shines, forever unaware of its influence,
Totally oblivious to its grandeur.
Its brightness is fueled by modesty and consideration,
For everyone besides itself.

For some, it is the support upon which they stand,
And the hope upon which they fall.
As it gleams, day in and day out,
Occasionally flickering with exhaustion,
It provides a solemn sense of reassurance to those that look its way.

For some, it is the gratification of victory,
And the sweet relief of success.
As it glows, every day without fail,
Blinking only to shed a tear,
It says goodbye to one dream fulfilled, and hello to the next aspiration.

For some, it is the worship of idols, and the inspiration drawn from heroes.
As it glistens, reliably from day to day,
Wavering just for a moment,
It drives a fanatical passion,
And cheers for its onlookers with unparalleled fervor.

For me, it is the love of two men,
And the continual joy that they lay on my heart.
As they twinkle, relentlessly, oblivious to their significance,
They congest my soul with gratitude,
And dam my spirit with value.

The lights at the end of the tunnel are alive and breathing.
One is my soul mate,
The other is teething.
Fortune has never blinded me so deeply,
As these two bright lights that will never stop beaming.